Out of Order
by mapplepie
Summary: <html><head></head>Because really, don't you think toilets these days are way too advanced? Poor Rai.</html>


Writing Noblesse fanfic is surprisingly harder than I thought it would be… I hope they're in character. After the whole door thing, this idea popped into my mind, and I _finally_ wrote it down...

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><p>Frankenstein's house was state-of-the-art. It was beyond modern. Anything new that came out was certain to be found somewhere in that house of his. From his computers to his door, everything was what any techno geek would long for.<p>

Sadly, none of that helped the recently awakened Noblesse named Cadis Etrama Di Raizel. Oh, his poor master.

Rai's recent victory in conquering the door left Frankenstein's heart in bliss. His master's proud achievement showed Frankenstein his ability to help keep his master up-to-date with the recent changes. It felt so good to be able to be of so much help to his dear master.

But now, Frankenstein was furious he had been blinded by such a fleeting moment of bliss. Why, instead of feeling good for himself, he should have sooner noticed his master's confused, albeit minute, expression for the device in front of him.

How long did he expect to let his master stare at it before explaining its usefulness? How long did he expect to let his master wait?

Of course he would be confused. It was large – an eye-drawing feature in that tiny room. Its sleek shape drew attention. It had a pile of buttons for various uses. It was the latest model imported just for his home.

Rai stood in the washroom, staring impassively at the object before him.

Frankenstein bowed, "This, my Lord, is the latest model of toilet from Japan(1)."

Frankenstein continued, "The humans have improved greatly on it since your slumber eight-hundred years ago." He kneeled beside the bowel, pointing out the buttons. "It can do anything at a single push of a button."

His master seemed to react to that. "Anything." Rai repeated, staring at the porcelain device in front of him. He was clearly analyzing the properties of the foreign technological device.

Frankenstein bowed deeply in response, mind whirling, trying to remember all the functions the toilet had. Warmed seats, bidets, water temperature and pressure settings, automatic lid, music, air conditioning around rim, medical sensors, and then some. He nodded in response. "That is correct, my Lord."

His master nodded, turning around to leave. He sat back down on the couch for his drink.

"Master?"

Rai sipped his tea.

**o-o**

**The day after:**

Shinwoo gave a whoop, beating Rai at yet another game. "Victory! Haha, you still haven't gotten the hang of it, Rai?"

The two girls, Yuna and Suyi, cheered and giggled beside him.

Ik-Han sighed, eyeing the monitor. "Principal Lee's house is so modern. These models just came out last week, and he already has them! I want to live here."

Frankenstein laughed at the doorway, surprising the kids. "Is that so? Thank you for the complement."

"Principal Lee!" They jumped in shock.

"Don't mind me, I'm just observing."

Shinwoo scratched his red hair, standing up for a stretch. "I'll be back, guys."

Frankenstein tilted his head, "Going somewhere?"

"Washroom break." The boy answered.

"Ah, wait." He stopped at his principal's words. "Please use the one by the guest room, Shinwoo."

"What's wrong with the other one?" The students looked over at the door of the closer washroom. A sign, 'Out of Order', hung on the entrance.

"What's that about, Principal Lee?" Ik-Han asked.

The older man looked a bit sheepish at the question, "Oh, just clogged."

Shinwoo grinned, "Took too big of a dump, huh, Rai?"

"Shinwoo!" Frankenstein reprimanded, affronted for his master.

"Kidding, kidding!" The red-head laughed, "Seriously though, what happened?"

"Something that did not belong was found in the toilet bowel." Frankenstein simply said.

The kids scratched their heads in confusion. Why did their principal look so embarrassed about that fact? "What, accidentally flushed a towel down or something?"

"No…" The blond man had a distant look on his face as he shook his head, "Not towels," he murmured out. Definitely not towels. " … _instant ramen_."

Behind them, Cadis Etrama Di Raizel stared on impassively into the computer screens.

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><p>(1) I don't know if Korea has as advanced toilets as Japan, so… yeah, I made it a Japanese model. Seriously, though, they have wa-ay too many functions to the point where it's almost scary. Just look up toilets in japan and you'll see everything I listed and then some.<p>

Toilets these days are just too advanced, you know. Forget humanoid-robots taking over the world, it's the toilets that we have to watch out for, you hear me? The _toilets._

PS. You all knew the ramen was coming. Can't make a noblesse joke without ramen!


End file.
